How Not to Be a Crappy Customer

I have worked retail in one manner or another for much of my employable life. I started out as a stock boy and spent most of my time freezing back in a cooler stocking awful beer and sticky soda. The rest was spent cleaning up after the muddiest bunch of rednecks you will encounter this side of an actual mud farm. Since then, I moved onto the register, first at that small gas station/deli and later at a major corporate retailer famous for red shirts, khakis, and really annoying commercials. These days, I’m putting my expensive Masters Degree in Commerce towards pointing a price gun at poorly placed labels and counting SKUs. So, yeah, I have some experience in retail. Or at least, I have enough experience to know the primary maxim of retail.

People suck.

Tips and Tricks for Conquering the Road

Remember Driver’s Ed? Some had private lessons. I drove with a horde of classmates from high school, together crushing those feeble cones that dared stand between us and a license (at least that’s how I remember it). Then, of course, I drove all over the county with my napping instructor in the passenger seat. It was slow going, but I attained that shiny laminated card which simultaneously made me competent to steer a machine of destruction and, a few years later, made me legally able to imbibe magical can’t-drive beverages. Surrounded by a big rolling metal shell, I was more powerful than ever before. Driving was freedom, and I was a master of the road.

Until I started driving in Northern Virginia.

What You Can Learn from a Rat

So obviously, I’ve been feeling a little writer’s block-y the past two weeks. Sorry. I got some bad news and it totally, completely blocked me. That hasn’t REALLY been fixed, but I feel too darned bad to not update the blog at this point. After all, this was supposed to be something I was going to do at least once a week. To summarize, it’s not my fault! YOU! Put down the fire and the pitchforks! Me no like fire. Unless it's roasting a nice duck, peking style.

Which brings me to today’s entry: